Mistakes to Avoid for Winning the Long Game in Dating

August 19, 2021
Mistakes to Avoid for Winning the Long Game in Dating

Most people crave romance, commitment and excitement - but that lust for love can be the spanner in the works if you're repeating the same mistakes and getting nowhere close to your relationship aspirations.

In many cases, the dating experience can leave you with a bruised heart and dented pride.

While we imagine dating is a bit trial and error and depends on the compatibility of the person we're meeting, it's common to do precisely the same things time and again, without realising they're common dating mistakes.

Here the Best10Dating team explains a few of those typical errors and how to use the top 10 best dating sites to find the partner of your dreams - without a hitch.

Expecting Every Date to Last a Lifetime

Number one mistake - not every guy or girl will be your soulmate, not every date will end in marriage, and some relationships simply aren’t meant to last.

When you raise your expectations too high, it's super easy to feel rejected when it doesn't go to plan, even if, in your heart of hearts, you're not even a little bit in love.

If you find yourself pinning all your hopes on a casual date, it's worth hitting up the UK top 10 dating sites and seeing a few options to remind yourself that your happiness doesn't rest on one potential partnership.

Putting it Off Till the Right Moment

Yep, you've heard it before because it's true!

There is no right moment. For anything. Ever.

Say you think you need to wait until you've lost a few pounds, and then you'll be confident to rock up on the UK top 10 dating sites. Or when you've landed that promotion at work and aren't so distracted, you'll have more energy to pour into finding love.

Stop right there.

Romance isn't a one-way street. It doesn't matter if you have other priorities (newsflash, that's normal!).

If you're lonely and want company, or are fed up with being single, now is the correct time to get out there. If you keep waiting until something changes, the chances are you'll still be waiting, and another year will have passed.

Trying Too Hard to Impress

OK, so a fresh date is undoubtedly nerve-wracking, and you do want to impress - there's nothing wrong with that!

BUT don't get suckered into the trap of forgetting your own importance while you're out there tap-dancing your way to date number two.

Here are things you should do:

  • Listen, pay attention, and ask questions.
  • Talk about what you love, too.
  • Decide on fun things to do together.
  • Be clear if it's not your cup of tea.

Putting your needs to the back of the queue just to fake a love of something isn't going to make you happy.

It might make your date think that they've found someone great, but in the long-term, that's never going to work out well.

Having a Cookie Cutter Idea of Your Perfect Partner

Now, we always say that it's a good idea to have some goals when you first join one of the top 10 best dating sites. However, that's a goal, a relationship aspiration, perhaps:

  • To meet someone for a casual date and see where it goes.
  • To find a potential partner for a committed relationship.
  • To connect with friends and like-minded people.

They're a bit vague, and it's OK to have a more precise idea about what you want from a relationship, but you get the general idea.

The common mistake is to get so engrossed in creating an imaginary profile of your ideal date that you turn down excellent matches because they don't tick one of the boxes on your long, long list of requirements.

People aren't made from moulds, and it's pretty unlikely (if not impossible) to find a real-life person who will fit with a considerable number of criteria you've imagined will create a perfect match.

It's a bit like those puzzle games where you put different facial characteristics of celebrities together to arrive at the 'perfect' face. It looks great but doesn't exist.

Likewise, someone perfect on paper is more likely to be a let-down because you're making dating decisions based on facts, not on character, personality, charisma, and those delicious butterflies that tell you you're onto something good.

Put the notepad down; it's not helping!

Taking Rejection as a Serious Problem

Just as you're not going to fall head over heels with everyone who messages you on the best 10 dating sites, nor will you be perfect for everyone you chat to.

When it comes to dating, it's a lot like applying for a job.

Some jobs are ideal for you, while others are entirely unsuitable.

However, if we took one rejection as a sign that we were 100% unemployable, we'd be out of work for a pretty long time!

This concept applies perfectly to your love life. So a date didn't work out; you were a bit more interested in someone than vice versa.

It's not a biggie; it's just a normal part of the dating experience - and doesn't, by any stretch, mean there isn't a fantastic person out there who'd snap at the chance of a second date and getting to spend more time with you!

Thinking Love Happens By Magic

Finally, let's stick with our job analogy. If you don't apply, do you have any expectation that a job offer is going to land in your mailbox with an amazing salary?

No.

Neither will a great date turn up at your doorstep if you haven't put the effort in and gone out there to find romance. Indeed, it'd be pretty creepy.

Don't wait for someone to come to you - passive dating isn't a thing, and it won't work.

Be bold, be brave, and take matters into your own hands! Even if you don't end up with a perfect relationship straight away, it'll do wonders for your confidence that you've started playing the long game on your terms.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren is a freelance writer passionate about how we develop rewarding experiences, and overcoming the barriers we face to living our best lives. Lauren writes regularly about the modern world of dating, relationships, parenthood, and social dynamics.