What to Look for in a Safe BDSM Dating App

February 24, 2022
What to Look for in a Safe BDSM Dating App

BDSM dating is far from the taboo it once was, and there are a growing number of successful BDSM dating apps inviting new users to connect with like-minded adults and engage in alternative relationships.

The issue with many BDSM dating websites is that, given the unconventional nature of this niche sector, many have low-security controls and attract spectators and inauthentic users, set to manipulate genuine BDSM dating participants or infringe on their privacy.

Today, Best10DatingGuide looks at the prevalent problems in Aussie BDSM and what you should look for in BDSM dating apps.

Staying Safe on BDSM Dating Websites

Good quality BDSM dating apps are as safe as any other - but online communities can be susceptible to fraud and intrusion, so it pays to take steps to protect yourself.

Some of the advice we'd offer to anybody new to Aussie BDSM includes:

  • Never rushing anything. You should confirm the identity of anyone you are considering meeting and refuse to be pressured into an in-person date of any nature if you have suspicions or uncertainties.
  • Discuss consent, boundaries and safe words before you go further than chatting online. BDSM is a considerably personal experience, and if you don't communicate your expectations, things can easily go wrong.
  • Set clear rules, and ensure both parties are in full agreement.

It's important to clarify that many BDSM dating websites allow you to select a persona or category within the broader area, to help you match with partners looking for the same encounters as you.

BDSM can include a vast range of sexual and intimate practices, so it's not as simple as choosing a person you feel attracted to and instantly knowing you are sexually compatible!

Choosing a BDSM Dating Platform

The first guidance we'd offer is that BDSM isn't the same as casual dating, or hook-up dating, so the best way to connect with matches is to use a dating forum specifically designed for this dating area.

Generally, BDSM is based on the principle of having one dominant partner (the dom) and one who is submissive (the sub).

Targeted BDSM dating apps should allow you to indicate in your profile which of these categories you fall into to avoid spending time messaging somebody who would expect to perform the same role as yourself.

Fetish-dating sites also tend to cater to a wide audience, matching potential dates across niches such as:

  • Bondage
  • Anime
  • Roleplay
  • Polyamory

If you have several kinks, then a fetish-dating site may be ideal. 

You can select any number of things you're interested in or would like to explore, rather than being limited to a generic description of BDSM that may not match your requirements.

BDSM Dating Site Costs

The privacy and anonymity you need come at a premium account cost. 

The benefit is that you don't need to worry about your BDSM dating profile showing up on a Google search and can browse and connect as much as you wish!

We'd recommend a premium user account even on free BDSM sites since this option should offer ID verification to avoid coming into contact with scammers or catfishers.

Basic accounts might allow you to swipe or view potential matches but won't typically include access to features such as video dating.

Features on BDSM Apps

Video messaging is perhaps more important in kink dating than in any other niche since compatibility is dependent on a huge range of factors.

Being able to communicate face-to-face, albeit digitally, is preferable to meeting in person before you have established the boundaries and rules we mentioned earlier.

Dating site users on BDSM apps who aren't quite what they appear to be are usually very reluctant to engage in video messaging since it will likely give the game away, so it's a handy tool to filter matches.

Sex-Positive Dating

Community forums and dating sites can be tricky places. 

Choose a great sex-positive site where anything goes, and you'll find yourself in an open-minded, liberal group where you can ask questions, receive advice, or share your experiences.

Poor quality BDSM dating can be considerably different, with judgement or excluding certain interests, so it pays dividends to choose wisely.

Recommended Read: BBW Dating - Breaking Down Taboos

BDSM Site User Numbers 

We don't tend to determine the quality of any dating app solely based on the number of users on the site (it takes time for any service or business to grow!).

However, in alternative dating, it may be worthwhile to look at the volume and location of site members.

If you're interested in finding a match in your local area, for example, you'll be hard-pressed if you download a BDSM app primarily used overseas or with a small user base in your country.

Digital dating with members in different continents can in itself be an exciting experience. 

Still, smaller BDSM dating sites don't tend to have the concentration of members to make them relevant in many locations.

Independent BDSM Dating Reviews

As an independent review site, Best10DatingGuide would, of course, recommend you check out reviews before you make any decisions about which dating sites to join, especially if you're signing up for an expensive subscription!

There are multiple benefits to browsing through ratings and visiting reviews:

  • Price lists and subscription information can help you compare different pricing structures and identify those BDSM sites with flexible subscriptions that match your budget.
  • Screenshots of the app or website are a great way to establish how the service works and whether it meets your expectations in terms of quality.
  • Security is a significant issue in fetish dating. Reviews including details about privacy, security checks and ID verifications are a fast option to filter through potential apps and bypass those that may potentially expose you to bots, scammers and fraud.
  • Customer service varies across the dating industry but can make a difference if you have issues with your account or need to block and report someone who has breached the messaging rules.

We hope these guidelines help you narrow down your choice of BDSM dating apps and understand why taking a little bit of time to assess the value of the service on offer is time well spent!

For more information, online dating guides and full ratings and reviews, please visit Best10DatingGuide.com.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren is a freelance writer passionate about how we develop rewarding experiences, and overcoming the barriers we face to living our best lives. Lauren writes regularly about the modern world of dating, relationships, parenthood, and social dynamics.

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