Love It or Leave It?

Right then, plot twist: there isn't one. The rankings are frozen solid this week—nobody's moved a millimetre. EliteSingles still sits pretty at the top with a commanding 92/100, while OkCupid languishes at the bottom with 58.4, seemingly allergic to climbing. It's the dating app equivalent of a stalemate chess match, except you're still paying subscription fees to stand still.

What's genuinely fascinating, though, is the widening chasm between what users rate and what actually works. Look at eHarmony: our review gave it a stellar 9.8/10, yet its overall score limps in at 64.9/100. Meanwhile, Match.com pulls a 9.4/10 from us but scores just 66.9 overall. Something's rotten in the state of these algorithms—or perhaps the apps' actual user experience is dramatically worse than their marketing suggests. Either way, download at your own risk.

The App Store ratings tell a kinder story: Hinge leads with 4.3/5, Bumble and OkCupid follow at 4.2, while OurTime drags with 3.9. This matters because actual humans are rating these after real dates (or spectacularly failed ones). Trust the crowd over the fancy copywriting.