Love It or Leave It?

Right then, stasis alert: nothing moved this week. Not a single app shuffled position, which means either the dating market has reached some sort of equilibrium or everyone's too busy actually messaging matches to improve their ratings. EliteSingles is still your posh boy at 92/100, Bumble and Tinder are locked in their eternal 85.9 vs 84.3 death match, and OkCupid remains the overachiever nobody wants (4.2/5 stars but 58.4 overall — that's a red flag as tall as the Shard).

The really curious bit? eHarmony (9.8/10 review score) and Match.com (9.4/10) are getting absolutely hammered by the algorithm despite our writers rating them brilliantly. Their App Store scores have dragged them down to positions 9 and 8 respectively. Meanwhile Hinge — which has the best App Store rating at 4.3/5 — sits at number 7, which suggests either our review team is harsher than actual users or there's something funky in the weighting. Worth investigating next week.

Bottom line: if you're downloading something this weekend, EliteSingles and SilverSingles are your safest bets. If you want volume over quality, Bumble's still your second-choice date machine. And if you're tempted by OkCupid because "everyone says it's good," look at that 58.4 score and ask yourself: good for who?