Love It or Leave It?

Right, let's be honest: absolutely nothing moved this week. Not a single app budged. EliteSingles is still sitting pretty at 92, Tinder's still languishing at 83.9, and OkCupid remains mysteriously trapped at 58.4 despite a respectable 4.2/5 on the App Store. It's the dating app equivalent of a stalemate in chess — except everyone's still swiping.

But here's what's actually interesting: there's a genuine schism between what users think and what we think. Match.com and eHarmony are brilliant at the actual matching bit (9.4 and 9.8 respectively), yet they score 67 and 65 overall because their apps are clunky, outdated, and about as fun to use as HM Revenue & Customs. Meanwhile, Bumble's technically superior (4.3 App Store rating), but we've scored it 7.8 because forcing women to message first sounds progressive until you realise it's just a gimmick.

TL;DR: EliteSingles and SilverSingles are still your safest bets. Everything else is negotiating what you're willing to tolerate—a dodgy interface, bots, or the sneaking suspicion you're the only one actually trying.