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12 Online Dating Tips from Women Who Met Their Spouses

May 11, 2021
12 Online Dating Tips from Women Who Met Their Spouses

It's the dream, right! So you join a great UK dating app and stumble across The One - and your life changes forever. 

Most people joining top dating sites in Manchester, London, or Bristol will be hoping for a similar outcome.  

The problem is that online dating isn't always so simple.  

Sure, you might have a ton of fun dates, but nobody stands out as the kind of guy you're going to be happy living with their toast crumbs in your bed - or who you'd like to build a life with. 

So, the Best10 team thought it would be great to consult some of our happy ever after's and collate advice from women in the UK who have found the love of their life online! 

Read on for the DATING SECRETS every woman needs to know before they start swiping right (or left)!

1.     Be Picky! 

Ok, so we're not saying you need to set impossibly high standards and cut yourself out of the dating market altogether - but if you're serious about finding love, it's never going to workout if you jump at the first chance of a date. 

Here are some red flags that signal it's time to move along: 

  • They don't respond for ages (yeah, nobody's that busy!).
  • Messages blow hot and cold.
  • You find yourself constantly chasing them up.
  •  They're non-committal or vague. 

Even if you're using the UK best dating app, it's essential to acknowledge that not every match will be permanent, so don't be afraid to draw a line when you don't feel the connection is there.

2.     Seek Out Effort 

A person who goes the extra mile, asks your opinion, and puts in the effort to ensure you're comfortable with a date is so much more likely to be a keeper. 

It's normal to feel pressure to find someone, yet any man who leaves it to you to do all the organizing ,pick a date location, travel to somewhere convenient for them, or doesn't even ask what you think at all isn't the best husband material. 

A guy who meets you where you're at and is openly willing to compromise is well worth a second look! 

3.     Don't Narrow Down Your Options! 

We've all got a 'type'. You've got yours, I have mine, and never the two shall meet! 

HOWEVER, how many women do you know who say they'd never have guessed their spouse was the right one? 

If you're looking for a man to settle down with, it's about more than a killer hairstyle. You need: 

  • Someone who shares your passions and loves what you love.
  • A person that isn't scared of real-life relationships and emotions.
  • Men that make you laugh, appreciate you, and share your relationship values. 

Try not to be blinkered when it comes to considering possible dates, and you might open up some opportunities that could be way more than you'd expected.

4.     Use a Premium Site (Yep, the Paid Subscription Ones) 

Let's be honest. The best free dating apps are great - and they're free! 

But, they're unlikely to attract marriage-ready guys. So, here are your typical free swiping app, men:

  • The just-want-to-have fun guy in his 20s (who should be on a hookup site).
  • The I'm-scarred-from-my-divorce men. Don't be are bound!
  • The my-career-is-so-time-consuming bloke. Yeah, if you don't have time to spend with real-life people, you're not heading down the aisle any time soon. 

Relationship dating sites with authentic people, decent security, proper profile verification and tailored matches inevitably come with a cost - and it's worth every penny.

5.     Invest Your Attention 

If you've been single for awhile, the attention you receive on a dating app can be a massive confidence booster! 

That said, if you want to settle down, it's vital you put the same energy into every date as you're expecting from a man. 

Glancing at your phone every ten minutes? 

Still messaging other men when you're meant to be sharing a glass of wine? 

Have half your brain on Tomas from Italy, who looks so good in his beach shorts? 

You might just be turning off a brilliant guy. Be present, be engaged, and be as courteous as you expect your date to be, and you won't write off a great date because you made it obvious you weren't fully invested in the situation.

6.     Look for Authenticity 

Another common issue with online dating is that we all want to look our best. Unfortunately, profiles with a sneaky filter, an obvious photoshop job or a profile pic that's a good decade out of date are a bad sign. 

Look for real people, genuine profile images, and guys who wouldn't baulk at the idea of visiting your Mum's for Sunday lunch, and you're far more likely to meet someone honest about wanting to settle down.

7.     Don't Be Afraid of Diversity 

Familiarity is safe, comfortable, and straightforward.  

It's normal to look for people who share your language, faith, culture and ethnicity - but also massively limiting in a UK dating scene with singles from all over the world. 

Stay open to meeting all kinds of people, and don't restrict yourself to dates who seem like they'd take minimal effort. Meeting men with different social backgrounds, cultures, and experiences can be a fantastic culture clash that could make an extraordinary life together.

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8.     Recognize What You're Looking For 

List-making isn't exactly sexy - but it might help you to finesse what exactly you're looking for in a guy that you'd be happy sharing a laundry basket with! 

Be honest, and open with yourself about your marriage criteria, and the search gets a whole lot easier than - I'd like to meet a nice guy who doesn't look terrible in a suit. 

Don't be shy; put it in your profile, and you'll have a far better chance of meeting someone who shares your goals.

9.     Prioritize Values, Not Looks 

Of course, you want to date a guy to whom you're physically attracted - but values are critical to a relationship that's going to stand the test of time! 


  • You love dogs and need a man who'd happily cohabit with your seven rescue puppies.
  • You are passionate about social parity, and volunteering is a big part of your life.
  • You go wild for Mexican food and couldn't live with someone who isn't equally swayed by tacos and Margaritas. 

Again, there's no right or wrong here. Still, choose men who share the things most important to you, and you'll have a rock-solid foundation to build a connection upon.

10. Have Real-Life Conversations 

You probably don't need us to tell you that chatting face-to-face provides greater insight into a person's character than any online message (even video chats!),so don't think you need to nail down the relationship through an SMS thread. 

If the spark is there, plan an actual date, and talk about the exciting stuff in person, and you'll get an excellent feel for how well you engage as a couple.

11. Don't Rush It 

Not every guy on an online dating app is going to work out, and marriages that last for years are not built in a day - or a month! 

When the frantic pace of online dating feels like it's closing in, take a step back and refresh your idea of what sort of person you'd like to meet and what difference that relationship will make to your life. 

There is no finish line here, no deadline, and no urgency.

12. Enjoy the Experience - the Good and Bad! 

Finally, you've got to see the funny side of online dating! 

Yep, there will be crash and burn dates that you never want to repeat.

There will be men who seem like the perfect guy - and turn out to be a complete tool.

You might get an explicit picture that needs sharing sharing with your BFFs for pure comedy value. 

Dating is fun, sometimes frustrating, and occasionally hilarious - so be there for it! You're not alone in the world, and there are millions of potential dates. 

If you can take the rough stuff with a pinch of salt and celebrate the wins, you'll bring a positive attitude to online dating experiences that showcases what an awesome wife you'll make - to the right guy, on the right app, and at the right time. 

Happy dating!


Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren is a freelance writer passionate about how we develop rewarding experiences, and overcoming the barriers we face to living our best lives. Lauren writes regularly about the modern world of dating, relationships, parenthood, and social dynamics.