How to Make Authentic Connections Through Mindful Online Dating

April 23, 2021
Connections Through Mindful Dating

Millions of people worldwide rely on online dating to meet their significant other - or to look for romance and intimacy. However, all too often, the experience can feel fickle and shallow.

There are lots of reasons for this:

  • Choosing dates based solely on appearance.
  • Swiping through profiles like the people behind them are a commodity.
  • Being encouraged to pay more money as if it's possible to buy a love life.
  • The prevalence of hookup apps and shallow casual dating.

All of this aside, it's vital to protect your emotional boundaries.

If you're searching for authentic, long-term romance, there are many things you can do to ensure the experience is valuable and contributes to your overall wellbeing.

Here we'll explore how to get the best use of the top free dating sites in Houston and the highest-ranked dating sites in Las Vegas and other popular areas and what to consider when searching for mindful dating platforms.

How to Choose Genuine Matches When Online Dating

Our first tip is something we often repeat - but we can't mention this too many times! It would help if you took your time deciding who you want to chat with, which profiles match your relationship aspirations, and whom you believe is on your wavelength.

The issue with this is that it's easy to feel pressured to engage in a flirty chat with someone you don't resonate with or where there isn't any chemistry.

Think of your online dating journey as an investment in your future happiness. You have a limited amount of time, and so you must use it to best effect.

Don't throw away your emotional energy engaging in conversations you're not comfortable with - even if that guy or girl is scorching!

You can't change people's fundamental outlook, so you can quickly be drained of motivation and left feeling a little hollow when you realize all that effort wasn't ever going to amount to anything tangible.

Taking a mindful approach to being selective in how you engage matters. The experience of investing time in authentic conversation, chatting with like-minded people, and feeling relaxed enough to be your true self will always inspire your dating adventures more positively.

Why Positivity Matters in Dating Online

The next factor to consider is that even if you're on the best dating sites in Las Vegas, your enjoyment of online dating will be dictated by your mindset at that time.

For example, these are great times to log in to your account:

  • In the morning, when you're feeling fresh, excited, and invigorated.
  • When you are confident and aware of what you're looking for.
  • Times when you aren't experiencing any emotional distress or challenges.

It's a little like calling a friend. When you're in a good place, you project positive vibes and self-assurance, and the chat will be happy, upbeat, and relaxed.

Make that same phone call after a tough day at work, after a row with a family member, or when your heart is aching from a previous situation, and you're not setting yourself up to have any fun.

Being positive online isn't just about being your 'best self' or coming across well to potential dates. It's about ensuring you use online dating as a positive influence to boost your confidence and help you meet new people when you're in the right mindset to benefit.

Trying to force it or dutifully logging into a chat when you're not in the mood can quickly make even the top free dating sites in Houston feel like a mediocre chore.

Recognize What You Can Control - And What You Can't

As much as we recognize that so many people do find love online if you want to be more mindful in how you spend your time, it's also crucial you empower yourself to be gracious and kind, even if the situation hasn't gone your way.

There are many scenarios when online dating might generate feelings of hostility, resentment, jealousy, or sadness - none of which will do you any good. Think about:

  • Sending a Like to a suggested match and getting zero response.
  • Having a private message ignored or deleted.
  • Not receiving any messages or matches for days at a time.
  • Seeing other profiles you think are 'better' or happier than yours.
  • Receiving an inbox full of spam and obvious fake messages.
  • Being blocked by someone you thought was into it.
  • Experiences like ghosting, when a prospective date suddenly starts ignoring you.
  • Finding out an eligible person isn't who they say they are.

These circumstances can be managed mindfully, provided you have clarity about the fact you ARE NOT accountable, or responsible, for the way other people behave when they're online dating.

Great online dating platforms tend to attract authentic people who are always going to be friendly and kind, even if they have to be honest and say they don't think there is a spark.

Inevitably, there will also be a few who think that everyday etiquette doesn't apply to how they behave online. It's essential never to take it to heart and never to waste time trying to micro-analyze every conversation you've had to work out what went wrong.

In this sort of situation, it is them and not you.

By acknowledging the potential for hurtful behaviors and deciding whether you have the confidence and emotional maturity to handle setbacks without them having a severe impact, you can be more mindful about how you engage online.

Project the Energy You Want to Find

It's easy to sit behind a screen and say that we're never going to feel bogged down in the repetition of online dating or feel upset when some acts cruelly - but very different putting that into practice.

If you do find that any of your online experiences haven't been positive and uplifting, the best action is to take a break.

Re-set your expectations, refocus on your aspirations, and center yourself in appreciating that you control only the contributions you make to the online dating community.

When you are in control, feel positive, and shrug off anything unkind without a touch of bitterness, you will safeguard your wellbeing and attract those who want to find someone genuinely authentic.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren is a freelance writer passionate about how we develop rewarding experiences, and overcoming the barriers we face to living our best lives. Lauren writes regularly about the modern world of dating, relationships, parenthood, and social dynamics.