The Secret Reasons People Message on Dating Apps But Never Meet

December 21, 2021
The Secret Reasons People Message on Dating Apps But Never Meet

We've all been there - you meet a fantastic person on the Los Angeles dating sites, and it's all going swimmingly.

Then, for no apparent reason, your messages go dark, and all you did was suggest a date.

If you recognize this scenario, please don't worry; it's a common phenomenon and one that you can avoid with a few tips from the relationship experts at Best10Dating!

Here we'll explain some of the typical reasons a date disappears as soon as it feels natural to take it to the next level.

Dating Anxiety

It's frustrating to have invested hours in messaging on the best dating apps in Boston only for your relationship dreams to disappear in a cloud of unread replies.

However, one of the most common reasons is that your date suffers from anxiety and is reluctant to meet in person for fear of failure.

Scenarios can include:

  • Having experienced a bad break-up and being worried that history will repeat itself.
  • Social anxiety and nerves about getting it wrong on a first date.
  • Finding it tough to get out there after the pandemic and feeling more comfortable sitting at home, flirting online.

Our advice is to take it slow if you have an inkling that a match on any of the Los Angeles dating sites (or in any other region) starts faltering at the mention of after-work drinks.

They likely need time to gather their confidence, so take it one step at a time for fear of putting on so much pressure they run for the hills.

Distrust in Online Dating

Our following reason could apply both ways, and it's all to do with the concerns many of us have about the authenticity of someone we meet online.

Now, if you select a recommended dating app from the Best10 team, we'll steer you towards top dating apps in Boston, where all members are vetted for security.

That said, there are millions of dating sites without so much identification control, so it's natural to be a little cautious if someone you barely know wants to meet up.

Alternatively, it might be because your date isn't quite what they say they are!

Perhaps they've been generous with the truth and don't want you to find out they live with their parents or that their profile photo is from years ago.

Either way, a person who doesn't want to date, even after a long period of messaging, may have something to hide.

Fake Daters

Here's an interesting one (and also very selfish!) - but some people use online dating as a thrilling experience, with zero intention of starting a new relationship.

Examples could be:

  • Married people, or those in long-term relationships who enjoy the excitement but don't want to cheat on their partner in real-life (and pretend to be single online).
  • Newly single daters who are testing the water but don't want to commit to a real-life date just yet.

Dating online can be a huge morale booster, and receiving messages about how attractive you are can elevate your self-esteem to new heights!

However, it's best to be careful with anyone who changes the conversation every time you mention a date since it will not go anywhere.

Being a Backup Date

Another less than pleasant experience is being treated as a reserve date. Some singles love the online dating life and can have multiple chats and messages on the go all at once!

That means they're the equivalent to an online player and probably don't have any intentions of dating in Los Angeles- or are hedging their bets for the 'best' date opportunity to come their way.

While it might be tempting to go after the proverbial bad boy, we'd recommend taking a step back and evaluating whether these interactions have any benefit to you.

Being kept as a backup isn't a nice way to be treated, and even if they choose you, then chances are they're always going to have one eye on their mobile looking for the next best thing.

Lack of Chemistry

We always advocate for honesty online - even if it feels a bit mean at the time!

Matching with someone without the butterfly flutter when your inbox pings is a sign that you don't have the chemistry there essential to a successful relationship.

Unfortunately, some singles find it hard to be truthful and avoid saying they're not that into you to avoid hurting your feelings.

In any of these situations, the best action is to be proactive about protecting your wellbeing and recognizing when a date isn't going to happen.

Move on, cut your losses, and spend your energy engaging with singles that do want to meet - there are always plenty more fish in the sea!

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Lauren is a freelance writer passionate about how we develop rewarding experiences, and overcoming the barriers we face to living our best lives. Lauren writes regularly about the modern world of dating, relationships, parenthood, and social dynamics.

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